On a beautiful summer day, Jerry pulls his old bicycle out of storage, determined to finally travel this beautiful city without being enclosed in a car, or worse, underground. After so many years of neglect, however, the bike is in need of some fixing-up. The frame itself is bent beyond repair, so he buys a new one. When he tries to wrap his old chain around the new gears, it snaps, sending links exploding in all directions, so he buys a new chain, as well. Hours of hard work all lead to the same result: He eventually replaces the wheels, tires, seat, brakes, and handlebars, as well. The only piece remaining from his old bicycle is the reflector, but since his new handlebars came with one attached, he doesn’t bother replacing it with the old one.
George decides to finally accomplish something he’s never been able to do: fly a kite. Several embarrassing attempts prove that he simply has no knack for the activity. Children laugh at the fat man as he runs through the park, impotently dragging a colorful toy behind him. He glares at the children, but this only makes them laugh harder. He sighs, but does not give up. George perseveres.
Peterman asks Elaine to hold on to his prized fishing rod, which — with its perfectly balanced handle, electric reel, and strong-as-steel wire — he proudly boasts “is worth more than your annual salary.” She begrudgingly agrees to keep it in her sight until he returns from an important meeting downtown.
Kramer, fed up with the summer heat, uses a wrench to try to open a fire hydrant and cool off. He exerts an enormous amount of effort, but the hydrant’s cap simply won’t budge. One last push finally makes a difference, but not the one he expected. Rather than send a refreshing fountain of water into the air, everything in sight is liberated from the force of gravity, as though Kramer had just flipped the switch for that physical constant. People, cars, and dogs tumble through the air, confused and free. Bodies of water float like bubbles. The earth flies away from the sun on a path tangent to what had previously been its orbit.
George’s face lights up, ecstatic as he watches his kite approach the clouds in the sky. Alas, when he looks down, he sees that he, too, is lifting off the ground. No, this is no accomplishment, but mere coincidence. George’s last thought before getting tangled in some electrical wires is that he has failed yet again.
"Thanks a lot, Kramer!" shouts Jerry as he flies by. “I’ve had that bike for twenty years, and now look at it!" At that moment, the bicycle is crushed between two dumpsters. “You should’ve chained it up!" Kramer shouts back. Jerry has already flown too far away to hear, let alone respond.
Elaine finds herself able to survive in this strange world by wrapping her legs around a tree branch, metal fence, or similar object, then using Peterman’s fishing rod like a grappling hook, pulling herself toward her next stepping stone. Her cleverness goes unrewarded, as the atmosphere quickly dissipates, no longer held close to the earth by gravity. She becomes short of breath; the blood vessels in her eyes pop. Within seconds, she loses consciousness. Her body drifts endlessly, tethered to nothing.
The Earth is a cold dead place.